Saturday, January 7, 2012

Mums the word!

It's Saturday night, around 10pm, and I'm all dressed up with absolutely nowhere to go. I had a lovely new dress on, hair looking shiny (first time in a long while) when my poor 4 year old projectile-vomited all over me. It was similar to something in a horror movie. As I mopped up the sick, cleaned up my little one and generally sorted everything out, I briefly reminisced on my life before becoming a Mum and wondered what I'd be doing right this minute! Either a night in, chilling with some wine and a movie with no cares in the world, or out clubbing till 6am with friends, dancing the night/morning away! So as I sip my very warm, sharp glass of wine (just couldn't wait for ice to be made) I ponder the joys of Motherhood!
If you are about to become a Mum, thinking of becoming a Mum, or have just become a Mum a few weeks ago - DO NOT READ! I think I need to jot down a few points that nobody informs you of before you have a baby;

1. Once Motherhood arrives, you NEVER sleep a full night again - ever! I'm speaking from experience as I have a 4.5 year old.

2. Anxiety - this starts, hmm, let me think, oh yes, the second you give birth. The worry of everything, this little life you are totally responsible for, forever. To back up this statement, my Mum has confirmed this anxiety never leaves you. I'm now 37 and she still worries about me!

3. Never free to leave the house easily - once you have a child, you cannot just walk out the door as you did before you became a Mum. Children want to come with you, or always need a sock, shoe, coat, hat, scarf to be put on and they like to do this in slow motion which can lead to you losing your job if constantly late!!!

4. Goodbye to reading - I used to read, all the time. Any spare second I had, I loved reading, snuggling on the sofa with a book, when it rained I just read my book, on the beach. When you have a child, it can take anywhere from 3-6 months before you finish that god damn book.

5. Holiday - Forget about it. You can read all the blogs in the world on 'taking kids on holidays' but I have to advise, don't take your child on holiday until they are....18!

6. Embarrassing situations - I used to get easily embarrassed before I gave birth, but now I have a 4 year old and she constantly puts me into situations where a normal person would be mortified. But not me, I've come to be ready for any situation. Her latest 'thing' is to walk up to total strangers in the shop and ask if they would like a girlfriend. 

7. The wobbly bits - I've always had the wobbly bits even before having a baby. I wasn't one of those slim girls who gained lots from having a baby. So before I had my head saying 'lose weight' but now to make it even worse I have a 4 year old who actually touches the wobbly bits and looks at me dismissingly saying 'Mom, you really should get rid of the wobbly bits'! 

Motherhood is a gift. I love it althought it's totally turned my life upside down. Some days I do have vomit on me, snot, chocolate all over my walls, a dishevelled kitchen, bedroom, but it's my life and one I'm very proud of.